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Paralogue 7: All Buns go to Heaven
For whatever reason, the Shepherds find themselves entering an animal sanctuary that protects endangered species. Okay, not whatever reason. One very specific reason. Knifez: So, uh, why are we wasting our time here, again? Without a word, Joos points a finger in Signele's direction. Aforementioned Taguel is looking around wide-eyed, trying to find any animals to make friends with. Knifez: I see. I don't enjoy it, but I see. Joos: Pretty sure the choice was between coming here and forfeiting a team member. Knifez: Is she really that important? Joos: I'm hella biased, so you should probably ask someone else. Knifez: Good point. Hey, Sam! Is Signele worth keeping around? Sam: Yeah. Have you seen her battle? It's downright scary. Signele: Maybe there'll be bunnies!! Knifez: This better be worth it. Joos: Eh. It'll keep her satisfied for a bit. Elsewhere in the sanctuary, a young, bespectacled girl stalks a large, suspicious group of men through the woods. When the group thinks they're not being watched, they brandish their wickedly sharp looking weapons. Thug: Alright boys. Get the biggest, rarest animals you can. We're gonna be rolling in gold if we get enough pelts. ???: NO! Suddenly, the girl bursts from her cover and steals a huge sword from the leader of the poachers. Poacher: What the fuck?! ???: Try poaching innocent animals without your swords, douchebuckets! Poacher: Get her! Nearby, the Shepherds start to enter the very same woods. Pika: Oh, great. A forested area. Anna: Is something wrong with the woods? Pika: Long-range combat with bows isn't the easiest in the woods. Signele: You better not be using that bow in the woods! Pika: Oh, I won't! I'm just on edge and if a battle were to break out, I'd be at a disadvantage. Kayla: Not to mention nobody would be able to use fire magic. Thunder magic would probably be out of the question too. Signele: Well then it's a good thing we're not getting into a battle. Suddenly the girl who stole the sword bursts out of the bushes and runs past the Shepherds, yelling something about poachers chasing her. Signele: Poachers?! You've got to be kidding me! Can't we do one thing without running into assholes? Then, the poachers emerge, looking around for the girl. Poacher: Hey, you've seen a little girl holding a weapon run by here? She stole my sw...something very important to me. Before any of the Shepherds can respond, they hear the girl scream something from behind them. ???: I'm not a little girl! I. Am. A TAGUEL! Suddenly, a huge rabbit similar to Signele's beast form jumps on the leader of the gang and claws at his chest. She doesn't get the chance to kill the man, as one of his cohorts pushes her off of him, allowing him to retreat and get healed. She snarls at the entire group of poachers while the Shepherds watch, dumbstruck. Signele: *gasp* Another Taguel! Guys, we gotta help. Knifez: So much for not getting into a battle. Joos: Let's do it. Sam: Mages, sit this one out. As Kayla said, Fire and Thunder magic is a no-go. Wind might inadvertently cut down a tree as well so it'd be safest if you guys didn't fight at all. Aloasa: What about me? Joos: Right, you're a dark mage. You can fight, but only use dark magic, okay? Aloasa: You've got it, boss! Sam: Oh, and Maggie? Maggie: Yeah? Sam: No fire breath. Maggie: Aw, man! The battle begins. Dakota pockets his bow for a sword once more and starts cutting down foes. Pika, meanwhile, opts for a more creative approach to working around the trees. Pika: Hey, Maggie! The manakete runs to her in human form, confused. Maggie: What's up? Pika: I need you to fly me to a treetop. Maggie: Oh, sure! Together, the girls fly to the top of a nearby tree and Pika hops off Maggie's back onto a treebranch. Pika: Thanks. Maggie: Oh, you're gonna snipe from here? Pika: That's the plan. Maggie: Sweet!! Pika: I think so too. Maggie flies to the back of the group, intending not to fight unless she has to. Unfortunately, she's spotted by one of the poachers, who stealthily follows her. When she's about to transform back into her human form, he leaps from the shadows, axe drawn. Poacher: I'm gonna get me some manakete scales!! Maggie closes her eyes and screams, but the fatal blow she's expecting never comes. She opens her eyes to see that Sarah has swooped in and killed the man swiftly. Maggie: Wow...thanks Sarah! Sarah: No problem. Elsewhere, Grace does battle with three poachers at once, brandishing her axe menacingly. Every ounce of nervousness she might have had before is completely gone as she has grown into her role as a war cleric and is ready to strike down her attackers with one fell swing if she has to. The poachers begin to close in on her with their weapons drawn. She sees something out of the corner of her eye and smiles. She hefts her axe up and rests it on her shoulder smugly. The poachers look at each other, confused as to why their target seems to be acting like she's already won. Just when they're about to shrug it off, One of them screams in pain and falls to the ground. The confusion over that allows Grace and the attacker to each take one of the other poachers down. When they're done, Grace gives her helper a high-five. Grace: Hey, thanks Joanne! Joanne: You had me worried there, so I came in to help. Grace: Oh, don't you worry about me. It's my job to be worrying about you guys. Now let's keep going, yeah? Joanne: Sounds like a plan! Kate has no problem keeping up with the poachers this battle, as they're too preoccupied by the foliage to make much progress. She doesn't worry about her feet getting tangled in vines, instead simply charging forward and mowing down enemies. At one point, she happens upon Florence, who's struggling to both navigate and keep her arm from aching. Kate: You alright, Florence? Florence: Ugh, ish. I don't think I was ready for fighting quite yet. I should probably go sit this one out with the mages. Kate: Maybe Jimmy could help you! Florence: Hey, good idea! Hey yo JIMMY! Get over here you slut! Jimmy, whose horse is struggling more than anyone to navigate the jungle, finally manages to find them. Jimmy: What's up? Florence: Mind if I hitch a ride, sexy? Kate: Wow, PDA much? Jimmy: Why do you need a ride? Florence: I'm not doing so hot. I think I pushed myself too hard for my first battle back. Jimmy: Oh, alright. Hop on and we'll take them on together. Florence: Alright! Thanks for the good idea, Kate. She climbs on Jimmy's horse and rides off, leaving Kate waving at them. Kate: I'm so good at this helping people thing. Wonder where Julius is, though... As if on cue, Julius bursts out of the bush, pursued by four very pissed off poachers. Julius: Hey Kate! Wanna help a brotha out? Kate: Oh dear, what did you do? Julius: Oh, yanno, just the usual. Insulted their dick sizes, the like. Kate: Okay, fine, I'll lend you a hand. The two team up and fight their enemies with the greatest of ease. Meanwhile, Jimmy and Florence ride past Taylor, who flags them down. Taylor: Hey, mind if I get a ride, too? Florence: Sorry, but Jimmy's horse only has room for two. Jimmy: Sorry, Taylor. Taylor: It's no problem. Spouses take priority, I guess. Florence: Damn right they do. Injured spouses get super priority. Onward! Taylor: Well she didn't have to phrase it like that. Bohl, Kayla and Josh sit on the sidelines, watching the battle unfold. Bohl's sharp eye notices a group of three enemies branch off and start to sneak away. Bohl: Father, small girl. Look that way. Kayla: Don't call me small girl. Josh: Oh, it appears you've caught on to some of these miscreants sneaking off. Should we alert someone? Bohl: Eh, Bohl was more of the thinking that we can be following them to outside the woods and then catch their surprise! Josh: Excellent idea, Bohl. Even if I didn't enjoy the presentation. Bohl: ...Sorry. The three mages quietly follow the poachers to the edge of the woods. When they clear the trees and walk into an opening, they high-five each other, thinking they got off scot-free. Josh: Alright, mages. Get your tomes ready. When the three grab identical spell books, they wait for one order, which finally comes from the smallest of the bunch. Kayla: Torch 'em! Seconds later, the triple Arcfire rains down on the poachers, roasting them alive. Kayla: Aw, yeah! We showed them what hell has waiting for them! Bohl: Was very good! Josh: Congratulations, you two. They walk back to the battle to see two Taguel bounding through the group of enemies, dispatching them at their own paces. Bohl: Oh, we have found Jayde! Josh: Who? Nearby, Spencer cuts down enemies and backs into the freshly revealed Jayde, who squeals and whirls around, baring her teeth at him. Spencer: Whoa whoa! Calm down there, Jayde. I'm on your side. The Taguel gasps and shrinks back into human form. When she's normal again, she digs around in a pouch and puts her glasses back on, just to make sure she knows who she's looking at. Jayde: Spencer!! I've missed you! She takes him into a hug, picks him up, and spins him around. Spencer: Ha ha, I missed you too Jayde. What happened to you? Jayde: Landed in an animal sanctuary, didn't wanna leave. Yanno. Spencer: Nice. I'm impressed. It's hard to hit on dudes when you're all entrenched in some sanctuary. Jayde: Psh, puh-lease! You act like that's my only character trait. I do other things you know. Spencer: Yeah, but before we started fighting... Jayde: Well, yeah but that's just so my race doesn't die. Spencer: Sure thing. Whatever you say. Jayde: Maybe if someone would like me I wouldn't have to do it! Take one for the team already! Hell, at this point I'd even settle for Justice!'' Justice'', Spencer! Spencer: How about you settle down and get back to fighting? Jayde: *sigh* fine. But this isn't over. ...Hey, are my parents here? Spencer: They sure are. Jayde: Both of them? Spencer: They're both alive and well. The young Taguel's eyes start to water. She takes her glasses off and wipes her eyes. Jayde: That's so awesome to hear. I've missed them. She tucks her glasses in her pouch and transforms into her beast form. Jayde: Now, let's get back to work, yeah? Spencer: Finally. Chase gets separated from DJ in the hectic battle and, when he finally notices, it distracts him just long enough for someone to knock him to the ground. He swings his sword blindly, hoping to nick his assailant and slow them down a bit, but his attacker looms just out of his sword's range. The attacker kicks Chase's sword out of his hand and prepares to strike. He moves in with his sword and slashes Chase's chest. Chase cries out, but before his opponent can finish the job, a wyvern's roar shakes him to his bones. Green swoops in on his wyvern and buries an axe in the attacker's skull. Green: Chase, are you alright? Chase: I've been better... Green scoops Chase up in his arms and climbs back on his wyvern. Green: To Chloe. Chloe! Injury! The trio fly back to Chloe, where Green leaves Chase to get healed. Chloe: Man, that could have been really bad. Chase: Am I gonna be alright, Chloe? Chloe: You'll be fine. I'm just glad Green saved you. If it were anybody moving on foot, they would have taken a lot longer to get to me and your wound would be worse. Let's get you fixed up. Chase: But...the battle. Chloe: That can wait. I think it's almost over anyway. Just as Chloe says, the battle is winding down, and the head of the poachers stands on his own, staring down two giant, angry rabbits and a whole mess of other Shepherds. Poacher: You know what? Fine! I'll surrender. I won't poach any animals ever again. Jayde: That's what I like to hear. He turns to leave, and the Taguel transform back into their human forms. Jayde's eyes widen when she finally gets a good look at Signele. Jayde: Hey! You're another Ta— Poacher: SURPRISE, BITCH! He leaps at Signele and slashes at her back with the insanely large sword he managed to recover during the chaos. She screams and falls to the ground. Joos: SIGNELE! NO! Jayde: Signele? Mom?! MOM! Ignoring the girl's outburst, Joos runs to the man with his sword drawn. The two engage in a short skirmish, which ends in Joos slicing the man's hand up and causing him to drop his sword. Joos prepares to strike the final blow, but Jayde beats him to the leader of the poachers. In the blink of an eye, she has him pinned to the ground while Grace runs to Signele's side. The other Taguel buries her claws in the man's chest and watches him bleed out slowly. When he's dead, she transforms back and runs to Signele's side. Jayde: Mom, are you okay? Joos: Wait, what? Jayde: No time to explain, my mom's in trouble! Grace: There, that should do it. You okay? Signele: Yeah, I'm good. Not used to actually getting hurt'' in'' human form. Kinda sucks... Grace: Well, you should definitely take it easy next time. Signele: But— Grace: No buts. Signele: Fine... Jayde: Mom, you're okay! Signele: What did you just call me? Jayde: I'm your daughter from the future! Signele: You're my WHAT?! Jayde: You heard me! Signele: I can't believe I made a baby! And a baby rabbit no less! Jayde: Mom, I missed you! With a squeal, Signele takes Jayde into a really tight hug, which is returned with enthusiasm. Knifez: I guess we did get something out of this after all. Sam: Didn't calm Signele down any, but you know. Close enough. Later, the Shepherds leave the sanctuary and Joos approaches his future daughter, who's hanging out with Signele. Joos: Wow, so we actually have a daughter, huh? Jayde: You bet you do. Er, will. I guess? Joos: So who are you? Jayde: Name's Jayde. I'm a Taguel. Signele: A Taguel with glasses? Jayde: Yeah, well...I couldn't get all of your kickassery, mom. I had to get my dad's gimpy vision too. Joos: Hey! Jayde: Hee hee... Signele: So do they stay on you or...? Jayde: Nah, they shatter if I forget to take them off before I transform. It's okay though because I have a lot of back-up pairs in my fanny pack. Joos: Well then. How were we as parents? Jayde: ...Not sure we ''is the right word. '''Signele': What does that mean...? Jayde: Nothing! Let's get moving! Joos: Alright, I guess. > CHAPTER 13: A SERIES OF UNFORTUNATE EVENTS < SUPPORTS Current Party The Shepherds *Knifez. Great Lord. Captain of the Shepherds and Prince of Waydrn. Treats his men firmly but fairly. *Grace. War Cleric. An affectionate and cheeky Shepherd with a possessive streak. *Joos. Grandmaster. A traveler with no memory of the past, but a gift for tactics. *Sam. Grandmaster. The Shepherds' original, no-nonsense Tactician. *Florence. Great Lord. A Shepherd and Knifez's sister. Always ready to lend an ass-kicking. *Jimmy. Great Knight. A quiet Shepherd who knows exactly when to get to work. *Pika. Sniper. A peppy Shepherd, always ready to follow her Tactician's command *Josh. Sage. A meticulous, methodical Shepherd with just a bit of whimsy. *Dakota. Assassin. A formidable Waydrnite thief with a grim outlook on things. *DJ. Swordmaster. A noble from Frar who knows his way around a sword. *Chloe. Valkyrie. The downright kindest Noble Frar ever did see. *Green. Wyvern Knight. A funloving Tostian dracoknight. Has a penchant for stabbing first and asking questions later. *Bella. Falcon Knight. A Tostian “noble” whose love of her country is rivaled only by her love of her horse. *Chase. Mercenary. A Sellsword with a love of tall tales and romance. *Signele. Taguel. Last surviving inhabitant of The Domain. Also a giant bunny sometimes. *Julius. Dancer. A gifted dancer with a flair for philandering and caffeine. *Maggie. Manakete. An innocent Manakete with a penchant for theatrics. *Kate. Knight. A knight who's probably just as confused as anyone. *Sarah. Wyvern Rider. A gifted Wyvern Rider who prefers the term "realistic." *Kayla. Mage. A hyperactive mage who can't wait to prove herself as more than just a kid. *Aloasa. Dark Mage. A dour Tostian with a knack for curses and hovering. *Anna. Trickster. A world-traveling merchant who loves money and big spenders. *Rachel. War Cleric. Constantly picks fights, but is better at healing than punching. *Heroi. Mercenary. Really good at what he does, but goes unnoticed until he's gone. *Joanne. Cavalier. A quiet knight who waits for the perfect moment to speak up. *Daniel. Hero. A Frarian warrior who hopes for the best but expects the worst. *Taylor. Knight. A horse-loving girl who's incidentally really bad at riding horses. Future Children *Spencer. Myrmidon. An enigmatic man who thirsts for a better world. *Danica. Trickster. A cunning, flirty girl who could rob even the greatest thieves blind. *Bohl. Mage. An confusing youth with incredible intelligence and not so great speech patterns. *Jayde. Taguel. A hyperactive Taguel obsessed with the goal of making the species thrive. Information *This paralogue was originally posted to the Total Drama Writers' Forum here. Category:Story Category:Paralogues